Reaching Out

[bought_the_bank]

The incoming call is from an unfamiliar number but the area code is easily identifiable.  The individual on the other end isn't from Gotham proper but from the outlying area north across the water.  If it goes to voicemail, he'll leave no message.  

Comments

[red_hoods]

Probably for the best. Though he hopes Bruce's processing will make him realize that whatever happened that night isn't going to happen again. Maybe he didn't make that message loud and clear.

"If you think that telling me how you want things to play out, will actually make it true, you're wrong," Jason says firmly, "No offense, Alfred, but you don't know me anymore and nothing is going to change that."

[bought_the_bank]

"On the contrary, I know you quite well," he replies without being or sounding affronted. Nor does he adopt an air of superiority. He's simply Alfred, solid and sensible.

"You're a man who's heart was trampled upon, having had something precious torn from you at too young an age. In your anger, you swore to avenge those you thought responsible. You went into the world and found it filled with nothing but chaos. So you tried to impose your own brand of justice. Only it didn't alleviate your anger the way you thought it would."

[red_hoods]

If this had been anyone else but Alfred, he would have hung up half way through that all true analysis of his thought process, and thrown the phone across the room, eventually changing his number and getting a new one.

But it is Alfred and he both hates how wrong he is about how much the older man knows, he hates how it makes him sound like a raw nerve. but at the same time he's comforted by it because someone gets it. And not just anyone, but Alfred. Maybe he was the only one who ever got it.

Jason sits back, slumping down a little in his chair. "No, it didn't. But at least it does more than most other things do. At least I'm not like him."

[bought_the_bank]

Losing Jason mid-conversation is a distinct possibility and perhaps even a probability. He understood this from the very beginning. That Jason answered the phone call at all is a promising sign. The avenues forward, although difficult to maneuver, aren't dead and buried.

He's wise enough to recognize now is not the best time to point out his description could just as easily apply to Master Bruce as it does to Jason. With a tender tone, he inquires, "Would that truly be such a terrible thing?"

[red_hoods]

Jason knew Alfred would try to get in touch with him sooner or later and he told himself he wouldn't answer. Not yet, anyway. The thing is, he told himself he would leave this place too, conduct his business somewhere else until he could shove everything else he's feeling way down deep.

But that didn't happen and now that Alfred called- his plans of not answering, of staying gone, it had gone out the window as well.

His jaw clenches at Alfred's question. "How can you even ask me that? After everything that's happened, everything he hasn't done. What else would it be?"

[bought_the_bank]

It pains Alfred greatly to see such a rift between them, to hear Jason harbor such hatred. "I can ask because I was here. I watched him race to your rescue only to find he was too late. I watched him grieve. I watched him nearly destroy himself out of self-loathing. What of everything he has done? Does it count for nothing?"

[red_hoods]

"I didn't ask for any of that! I wanted one thing. One thing, Alfred. Why can't any of you understand that?" He raises his voice out of frustration, all that anger threatening to seep right back in. "What do you think I would have done if someone had killed Bruce?"

He stands up and starts pacing, dragging his fingers through his hair. "He says he nearly beat the Joker to death? He could have gone all the way. That sick freak didn't hesitate, but Bruce. Oh, Bruce and his antiquated sense of morality. It makes everything else count for nothing."

[bought_the_bank]

"If someone had murdered Master Bruce, you would have attempted to avenge him. I have no doubt. You must know Dick and I would have done everything in our power to stop you."

[red_hoods]

"As if you could. You both would have been wrong, wasting your time and energy instead of taking the trash off the streets." So now Jason is doing it instead, and as far as he's concerned he's doing a much better job of it than Bruce is.

"What I'm doing is good for everyone in this city. So in a way I guess it's good that Bruce didn't have the guts to do it. It's better that he finally showed his true colors. His cowardice is inspiring. It made me realize that not only does that clown freak need to die, but the rest of them do too."

[bought_the_bank]

"Perhaps you are right."

[red_hoods]

Jason stops pacing and raises an eyebrow. Alfred is never one for placating anyone, so he knows it's not that. "Then maybe you should be here with me instead."

[bought_the_bank]

He continues. "Perhaps I don't know you anymore. The young man I knew was taught never to be judge, jury, and executioner. That the ends don't always justify the means. When you kill a killer, you've only replaced the problem. Not solved it."

[red_hoods]

He snorts softly, shaking his head. "Yeah, well, like I said. Things have changed. The young man you knew died. I'm not that person anymore. It's just not possible after everything I've seen, everything I've been through."

He hates every bit of how that sounds, how it feels and how disappointed Alfred probably feels on top of it all. He doesn't want to feel anything at all when he talks about any of this, but it's impossible. Jason's never been able to get a good hold of his emotions.

"I'm not like them."

[bought_the_bank]

Alfred is disappointed. But he also wonders who Jason is trying to convince.

"You're not like them. You're not like him. You've just successfully eliminated the only two options. There is no gray area when it comes to this subject."

[red_hoods]

"Of course there is," Jason says more firmly. It's what they don't seem to understand. There is absolutely a gray area and Jason feels he's right in the center of it. "I'm doing what Bruce can't do. Protecting people who are terrorized over and over again by the same criminals because no one else will get rid of them. That's what I do and some day, Bruce will see that. Some day he'll realize that there has to be a gray area."

As for Alfred, he hopes he understands before Bruce does. Jason thought maybe he already did. But that disappointment buries deep into him and he knows he's been lying to himself about some things, at least. "You're right about one thing... I couldn't kill him. I wanted to, though. I thought... if I had the chance, I would, but I couldn't. Doesn't mean I don't want him out of my way, though."

[bought_the_bank]

Alfred dreads the prospect of that day ever arriving. Bruce has skirted awfully close to it on many occasions. Alfred has seen him turn cruel and lose hope, declaring two decades of work worthless. Desperate measures are easier to adopt when no light can be seen at the end of the tunnel.

He recognizes complete honesty when he hears it. He replies in kind. "He doesn't show his love in a conventional manner and he's never been, nor will he ever be, perfect. But he does care. As do I. I've lost one son and been fortunate enough to have him returned. I doubt I would be so lucky a second time."

[red_hoods]

He doesn't get Alfred's point of view on the matter, or Bruce's. He doesn't agree with it at all and that's probably because he's very much in the desperate measures mindset, ever since he got back. How could he not be? He sees nothing else.

But maybe admitting that he doesn't want to kill Bruce is the first step. He's not sure if he can get all the way to believing that Bruce cares just yet, but Alfred? The gravity of the fact that he's actually talking to Alfred right now- that they may disagree about some things, but they're allowed to have this conversation with each other- it hits him. "I know you care. I've never been angry at you. I told Bruce that the reason I didn't end him, the reason I patched him up instead, it was for you. That wasn't a complete lie."

[bought_the_bank]

Perhaps today they'll have to settle on a temporary compromise, agreeing to disagree like two civilized men. He hopes time will lend Jason further wisdom and the change of perspective he needs. Until then, Alfred shall continue to offer his guidance and insight whenever possible.

"Thank you for taking an old man's feelings into consideration. I would like very much not to bury another Wayne in my lifetime." Losing any of them would be devastating. He doesn't dwell on that thought, moving on immediately.

"You now have my number. Please avail yourself at any time for any reason. I trust if I should wish to contact you again, I'll have less work ahead of me?" Will Jason be tossing his phone? Starting over? It's Alfred's way of less than subtly inquiring.

[red_hoods]

That's all Jason can do with anything. Temporary. He doesn't believe there will be anything more and why should he? So if this is a temporary compromise, he'll make due, in hopes that the two of them will come around- though he knows that most likely won't be how this goes down. In the end, he figures Bruce will turn his back on him again, try to put him away, leave him for dead somewhere, just like before.

"Maybe he should rethink his strategies, then." Because Jason has a feeling Alfred will be burying one of them again, sooner or later.

Jason hesitates, pulling the phone from his ear and looking down at it. He wonders if they're trying to pinpoint his location right now- something that foolishly hasn't occurred to him till now. But Alfred wouldn't do that to him, would he? He wouldn't. He looks out the window anyway, scanning the surrounding area for any Bats, putting the phone back against his ear. "What would you need to contact me for?"

[bought_the_bank]

"To converse. That is generally what two individuals do while they're on the telephone."

An inspection through the blinds will reveal no unwanted visitors. No one is attempting to ascertain his location and Alfred really did just call to talk. Jason's number is strictly in his possession, not to be shared. At least for now.

[red_hoods]

"You just want to talk?" He shouldn't be this surprised, because it's Alfred, but he is, because he hasn't had this for so long now, it seems.

He had considered tossing this phone and getting another number, but now... "Does Bruce know?"

[bought_the_bank]

"Master Bruce is aware of very little right now."

Which is contrary to usual. The man behind the mask is always listening, reading, and gleaning, making it his business to know as close to all as possible. He'll return to his familiar ways as his brain begins to heal, pushing himself to and beyond his limits. Jason's contact information is safe for now until Bruce himself is ready to research.

[red_hoods]

"Maybe I'll keep this number for a while, then." At least a little while. Maybe longer, depending on how things go. "As long as you don't tell him."

The last thing he wants is for Bruce to call and try and talk as well. This is reserved for Alfred only.

[bought_the_bank]

"I won't need to."

Bruce's detective skills exceed his own. Also, when the wounded man is ready to encounter Jason again, it'll most likely be in person.

"Take care of yourself, young man."

[red_hoods]

Jason doubts Bruce will go out of his way to find him after their last encounter, but he knows sooner or later they'll come head to head anyway, especially with the way Jason's been carrying on all over Gotham.

"Yeah. Sure." He sighs, his fingers tightening around the phone in his hand. "Alfred..." He wants to thank you. He wants to say a lot more, actually, but he can't. Not yet. He doesn't have it in him. "Goodbye."